Finally, my true love found me! … My Dear Charles …

Some weeks ago, I received this email from Captain Charles Freeman…



I haven’t replied back to My Dear Charles and I really feel I should, after all, he has shared his heart and soul with me in this short email.  But how do I answer?

Perhaps he was meaning the Llama?

My Dear Charles, through all these years, I never gave up hope.  I knew in my heart of hearts that one day you would find me and provide the means to get me out of this horrible place.  I can’t stand another day of endless streams of tourists fondling my neck…

Or what if things aren’t now as they once were?

My Dear Charles, sorry mate, the photo was taken before my sex change but if you’ll still have me…

Perhaps some advice would be useful to Charles…

My Dear Charles, did you know Specsavers offer free eye exams for AA members?  It really sounds like you need your eyes tested if you think I am the most beautiful woman…    

But again perhaps, he was meaning the Llama, I guess we need to clarify that little issue first?

Perhaps I could give him an English language lesson.  It can’t be easy to presumably scam people when English isn’t your first language.  You have to have some pity.

My Dear Charles, nice try… you almost got through the whole email without massacring the English language, but you really %#$@ed up that last sentence.  

Or perhaps I should take him up on his offer?

My Dear Charles, so sorry for the delay replying as I had to get my affairs in order before coming to you.  Please deposit the airfare into my bank account and I will book the first available flight.  

And then head to the nearest shopping mall upon once payment shows…

So what would be your answer to My Dear Charles?






  1. I like the “taking him up on the offer” one. But I wouldn’t be surprised if the cost of your airfare never arrived…. 🙂

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