Taking kids to Disney & the lies I told


If I was to give one piece of advise about travelling to Disney with children, it is that you should leave them at home.  They will cramp your style on your touring plan and will insist on riding all those things you usually avoid like the Mad Hatters Tea Party.

Having said that, should you foolishly take them with you, there is immense fun to be had by making up stuff as you tour the parks.

As the main trip planner and organiser for our recent trip to Walt Disney World with my three nephews (aged 6-11), my day was a constant barrage of “what are we doing next?”, “what fastpasses do we have?”, “what is this attraction about?”, “how long is this ride?”  or worse, the trivia questions that I couldn’t possibly know the answer to such as  “how many buses does Disney have?“.  

To amuse myself, I found the best thing was to simply to make up the answer.

Examples – what are we doing next?  We are going to Walmart and going to spend a glorious 3 hours browsing slowly through the women’s underwear department.

What fastpasses do we have?  “None, I cancelled them all because you are nasty little beasts”.

What is this attraction about?  It’s exactly the same as (insert another attraction we had just ridden) but it’s completely different.

How long is this ride?  Either I’d answer “oh a good 3-4 seconds” or “at least 6-7 hours” – both of which would get the indignant response “no it isn’t”.

At one point, middle nephew, aged 8 asked “what is Constipation Station about?” (correctly called Conversation Station), I immediately jumped in and said “Constipation Station?   That’s where no one gives a shit“.

Also, do not forget, there is immense satisfaction to be had from singing along extra loudly and with actions to thing like the Frozen Sing-a-Long.  OMG Aunty Paula is sooooo embarrassing!

After 4 weeks of this, you’d think they would be fed up with it… but no, apparently they like me and think I’m funny.  Sigh…




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